My version of doing good and theirs don't match

Megan's teachers have been telling me that she had a good day or a great day at school.  I found out this week that their version of what a good day is doesn't equal my version.  On Monday when I picked Megan up I was informed by one of the co-teachers that Megan had a great day, that she was absolutely delightful and that she didn't cry at all, except for when she got hurt (she pinched her cheek in a block).  At the time I said to Megan "are you not delightful all the time" and the lady then said, she was more delightful today. 

On the way home I kept thinking about the "didn't cry at all" comment and it really bothered me.  So on Tuesday when I dropped her off I asked about the comment and was informed that yes Megan does fuss/cry  pretty much every day but that they consider that normal for a first time childcare child.  She fusses/cries when it is not her turn, or when they want her to do something she doesn't want to do, etc.  When I left the room that morning I cried, I cried off/on all day and night. It is still difficult for me to leave Megan at school.  I don't want her there, I want her home with me; but I was dealing with it because I thought she was having a good time and doing so well and then I found out that she has been unhappy every day.  Megan fussing because she doesn't like what is happening (i.e. taking turns), etc doesn't bother me because it shows that she is becoming more independent and wanting things her way which is a typical toddler attitude.  Megan crying, actually crying tears over something is another story.  Megan is and has always been a very easy-going, happy and content child.  It is not unusual for her to go a month without crying tears and they are telling me she is now doing it every day.  She is clearly unhappy.  

This morning when I dropped her off I asked Leah if she thought Megan was progressing.  She doesn't get an official progress report until the end of October but I explained that I was still having a hard time leaving her but that I was okay with dealing with it until I learned that she was having a hard time too and that the only thing that would make me leave her in school at this point was if she was making progress.  Leah mentioned a couple of things that Megan is now doing but that she wasn't before and the PT, who happened to be standing there, mentioned a few things as well.  Unfortunately, which was a concern I mentioned to Will last night, the "progress" she has made is that they are now seeing everything she is capable of.  She is not doing new things, with the exception of playing while leaning back.  

Needless to say I was unhappy when I left.  It doesn't help that we have zero confidence in the speech therapist who cannot even give us any specific tips for working with Megan.  I was struggling with how to make the right decision for Megan.  I really want to take her out of school because I miss her and I don't want her to be unhappy either.  I decided to take the kids for a little drive through the country while I thought and prayed about what to do.  

So, here is the plan.  The decision has been made to leave Megan in school until the end of 2012.  We will evaluate the situation at that time and decide what to do.  Obviously if something drastic or serious happens between now and then we will pull her out if needed.  Just making the decision brought me peace and I feel much better about things.  Knowing that she will be going for the next 3 months has given me freedom.  I am sure that there will still be rough days but they shouldn't be anything like what I have been going through.